i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
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Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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