Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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