Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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