I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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