it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
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Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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