can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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