We named our party play list daddy issues
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think my moral compass just broke
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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