He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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