I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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