I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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