Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize