when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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