i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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