he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He felt like a one man threesome
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
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Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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