I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize