Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize