Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
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i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
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Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
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