Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
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Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
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I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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