Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize