last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize