I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize