Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize