did you get engaged???
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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