Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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