i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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