Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize