My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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