the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Farmville is her only friend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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