I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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