dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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