Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So vagazzling was a success
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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