even my farts smell like vagina
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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