There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize