I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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