I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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