didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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