haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I looked at my own cervix.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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