what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
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New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
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I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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