1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize