This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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