That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
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I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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