Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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