I just pynch a tree in the face
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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