I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
They have beer where we have blood.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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