so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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