Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize