you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
jump out the window naked night went bad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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