i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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