Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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