Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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