we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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